Military funny Jokes

Top Holiday Traditions In The Military

9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask

8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower

5. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-colored t-shirt

7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant

6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530

4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen

3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank

2. Watching "Frosty" and crying my eyes out

1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog

Submarine humor & fun

Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!

Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander

"Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth"

"Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how 'bout you..?"

"Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"

QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts."

NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water."

EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water."

CAPT: "What, no water, ...very well, secure the showers."

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