Jokes: Funny Answering Machine Messages

Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

1: I didn't expect an answering machine.

2: Nobody expects an answering machine.

1: Our chief use is to get your name. And your phone number.

2: Our two chief uses are to get your name and your phone number.

1: Oops! And your message message.

2: Our three uses are to get your name, phone number, and message.

1: And time you called.

2: Oh, great, we'll have to start over.

1: No time for that, so just wait for the beep.

Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra": Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can.

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