To scare off annoying liberals: Hello, and thank you for calling the Bush in 50 Campaign. Your five dollar donation to get George Bush re-elected in all 50 states will automatically be charged to your phone bill. If you would like to leave a message...
Thank you for calling 911. All of our operators are currently busy. Please stay on the line, and your call will be answered in the order it was received. (Worst Muzak possible.) Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold. Or, if your little emergency isn't too serious, leave a message at the tone, and one of our crisis operators will call you back. Have a nice day.
You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society. Please leave a message after the tone and we'll get around to it...
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