Jokes: Funny Answering Machine Messages

"Winter Wonderland":

Hear the ring, inside our home.

Once again, can't get the phone.

So please be polite,

You know that it's right,

And leave a message when you hear the tone.

"If I Only Had A Brain":

I might be in the shower,

I might be gone for hours,

I can't come to the phone.

So, please leave your name and number,

If I miss you it'd be a bummer,

Leave your message at the tone...

With apologies to Robert Burns:

O ma phone is but an ebon box,

Wha' rings when I'm awa'.

And my tape machine waits,

For your call,

This message for ta play.

So leave ye message at the beep,

Then bide ye well a while,

For I will hear your voice,

ONE DAY,

and call ye wi' a smile.

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