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    The Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans

    1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.

    2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings.

    3. Join our frequent near-miss program.

    4. On flights, every section is a smoking section.

    5. Ask about our out-of-court settlements.

    6. Our staff has had lots of experience counseling next-of-kin.

    7. Are our jet engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off.

    8. Complimentary champagne during free-fall.

    9. Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you.

    10. The kids will love our inflatable slides.

    11. If you think it's so easy, get your own plane!

    12. Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes?

    13. Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose.

    14. BadAir: We may be landing on your street.

    15. BadAir: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.

    16. Bring a bathing suit.

    17. Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as possible for the best view.

    18. That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best pilots.

    19. Fly BadAir and enjoy a free two-week hospital stay on us.

    20. BadAir: A real man lands where he wants to.

    I deserve a first class seat

    A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

    The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

    The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

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