Yo Mama funny Jokes

Yo mama's so dark, when she puts lotion on her legs it looks like she has on patent leather pants.

Yo mama's so dark, when the police shot at her the bullets came back for flashlights.

Yo mama's so dark, when you go swimming it looks like an oil spill.

Yo mama's so dark, when she eats a tootsie roll, she's gotta wear white gloves to keep from chewing her fingers off. Yo mama's so dark, if she had a red light she'd be a beeper.

Yo mama's so dark, she was riding a motorcycle and got a ticket for tinted windows.

Yo mama's so dark, when she smiles at night she looks like floating Chicklets.

Yo mama's so dark, when she spits, ink comes out her mouth.

Yo mama's so dark, if her eye's were red she'd be a beeper.

Yo mama's so dark, her nickname is evening.

Yo mama's so dark, she makes asphalt look gray. Y

o family's so dark, when they hold hands, it looks like a stretch limo.

Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."

Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."

Yo mama's so fat, when she weighed herself the scale gave her an equation. Yo mama' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.

Yo mama's so fat, Yo father didn't know whether to fuck her or take the burro ride down.

Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.

Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.

Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.

Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket. Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs. Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.

Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again." Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.

Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost. Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks. Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us! Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?" Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin. Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.

Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.

Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.

Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks.

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds. Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, she needs a roadmap to find her ass.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.

Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun.

Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her. Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer. Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.

Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it up!"

Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.

Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.

Yo mama's so fat, she got a "speed pass" for Dairy Queen.

Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.

Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.

Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.

Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat. Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.

Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks. Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish. Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a low rider.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.

Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass."

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she lost at Jenny Craig was $29.95.

Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.

Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"

Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.

Yo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in da ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"

Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.

Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama."

Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell. Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. Yo mama's so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.

Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy."

Yo mama's so fat, as a kid, she couldn't play Hide-n-seek, just seek.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac.

Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.

Yo mama's so fat, she plays pool with the planets.

Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.

Yo mama's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms. Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat buffet.

Yo mama's so fat, she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet.

Yo mama's so fat, when it says all-u-can-eat it still ain't enough.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

Yo mama's so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead.

Yo mama's so fat, you can smack it up, flip it, and rub it down all at the same time.

Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.

Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show.

Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.

Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.

Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie." Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man." Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the school bus.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney." Yo mama is so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out. Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.

Yo mama's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.

Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo mama's so fat, she get's her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's.

Yo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway.

Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to fuck her I didn't know if I was hitting the hole or a roll.

Yo mama's so fat, when my dog went to fuck her he had to peel too many fat rolls and said "Fuck It."

Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex. Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.

Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.

Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation. Yo mama so fat that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.

Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.

Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."

Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.

Yo mama's so fat, they call her "Big Fat Ho."

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.

Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked into a room, someone said, "Woah! Was that a solar eclipse or did Free Willie just walk in? Next page