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    Recruiting any and all pilots

    The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.

    As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.

    He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

    The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"

    The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!"

    The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"

    The young man says, "I chop wood!"

    "Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?"

    "I chop wood!"

    "Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"

    "Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!"

    "Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"

    The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"

    Bragging about old times

    Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.

    "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."

    "Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."

    "What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."

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