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    How Army policy began

    This is Army policy all begins...

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

    Continue until, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes try to prevent it.

    Now, turn off the cold water.

    Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

    Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

    Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

    After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

    "Because that's the way it's always been around here."

    That's how Army policy begins...

    Chinese learned this

    Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.

    Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our Spy Plane

    10. American codes can be broken by anyone with a basic understanding of Pig Latin

    9. On-board computers were mainly used for Internet casino video poker

    4. Maybe not the best idea to write "Spy plane" on wings

    8. According to plaque, "When Bush gives order, nod politely, wait to hear what Cheney says"

    7. Cockpit full of Colt 45 bottles

    6. Mission was to determine if Chinese people can fly like in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"

    5. "Cloaking device" button only there because pilot's a "Star Trek" fan

    3. The plane's sole security feature: an angry kitty

    2. Plane is so high-tech lavatories feature futuristic blue water!

    1. Americans smell like Doritos and Aqua Velva

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