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    Battles on the sea

    The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.

    THE U.S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place.

    Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon.

    It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.

    China blames America

    Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.

    China blames U.S. for second mid-air collision!

    Beijing (Reuters) - Chinese officials have stated they are holding the United States,” Fully responsible" for today’s mid air collision, involving several Chinese aircraft and one American aircraft. This comes just weeks after a similar incident involving a U.S. spy plane.

    Officials have stated that at approximately 8:46am, GMT, a squadron of F-8 fighters collided with the American Goodyear Blimp. The crash left over a dozen Chinese fighters downed and the blimps electronic billboard damaged.

    A Chinese pilot who witnessed the collision involving his squadron, nicknamed "Panda Rash", told China's news agency that he saw the American blimp dive out of the clouds and onto wingman Thee Sum Yun Dork's f-8 jet.

    "I told Thee Dork his tail was all broken. Keep it straight. Keep it straight." said the pilot "He could not shake the American foreign-devil" The blimp reportedly then veered left then right, taking out the rest of the squadron.

    Pilot Chawp Sueey told Xinhua the American blimp " Fully responsible for the incident" repeating the language Beijing had used in the earlier incident.

    China blames this new accident on the Goodyear blimp, saying it rammed the supersonic fighters, and has demanded an apology.

    Officials from the Goodyear Company have said it is unlikely that the slow propeller driven blimp could turn inside and ram a dozen nimble fighters unless the Chinese were testing chimp pilots.

    "The direct cause of the collision was that the American blimp made a sudden big move toward the Chinese planes, making it impossible for the Chinese planes to get out of the way. The savage act of American blimps colliding with Chinese planes while conducting spying missions at sporting events makes us indignant" Chawp Sueey was quoted as saying.

    Chinese officials are calling for an apology from the United States and enough Goodyear tires to replace the Firestone's that experienced spontaneous combustion last year.

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