Jokes: Funny Answering Machine Messages

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    All our answering machines are busy. Please hold. (Pause.) All our answering machines are... (CLICK) This is the answering machine of...

    Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.

    I just got a car phone. I'm not here at the moment. Leave me a message and I'll call you when I'm out.

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