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    (Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm!

    A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.

    Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer.

    (For Shakespeare lovers only:)

    So long as phones can ring and eyes can see,

    So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

    Next page

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