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    You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit the game.

    You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

    You get the most of what you need the least.

    You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today.

    You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue; agree with him.

    You never find an article until you replace it.

    You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

    You never want the one you can afford.

    You remember to mail a letter only when you're nowhere near a mailbox.

    You want it when?

    You will always find something in the last place you look.

    Clovis' Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly: The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

    Cohn's Law: The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.

    Colvard's Logical Premises: All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.

    Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary: This is especially true when dealing with someone you're attracted to.

    Conway's Law: In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's going on; this person must be fired. Corollaries: 1. Nobody whom you ask for help will see it. 2. The first person who stops by, whose advice you really don't want to hear, will see it immediately.

    Cooke's Law: In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

    Correspondence Corollary: An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory.

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