Business funny Jokes

Gumperson's Law: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

H. L. Mencken's Law: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Martin's Extension: Those who cannot teach, administrate.

Hacker's Law: The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.

Hall's Laws of Politics: 1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending. 2) Citizens want honest politicians until they want something fixed. 3) Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend military spending, and conservatives social spending in their own districts).

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Hanson's Treatment of Time: There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.

Harp's Corollary To Estridge's Law: Your "IBM PC-compatible" computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment.

Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

Hartley's First Law: You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you've got something.

Hawaiian Rules Of J.W.: 1) Never judge a day by the weather. 2) The best things in life aren't things. 3) Tell the truth; there's less to remember. 4) Speak softly and wear a loud aloha shirt. 5) Goals are deceptive; the unaimed arrow never misses. 6) He who dies with the most toys, still dies. 7) Age is relative; when you're over the hill, you pick up speed. 8) There are two ways to be rich: make more or desire less. 9) Beauty is internal; looks mean nothing. 10) No rain, no rainbows.

Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.

Hinds' Law Of Computer Programming: 1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete. 2) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 3) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 4) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory. 5) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. 6) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it. 7) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person; they will find an easier way to do it.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.

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