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    Looks bad on resume cover letters

    1. I'm really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good.

    2. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.

    3. I'll kill myself if I don't get a job.

    4. I know where you live.

    5. Any sentence beginning with "I was recently acquitted."

    6. I'm really tall, so I think I'd be well suited to this job.

    7. Happy faces.

    8. By the way, I understand that you have unmarried daughters.

    9. I'm confident that I'll get this job. The voices told me.

    The copy machine handout

    In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet.

    The copier is out of order! Yes, we have called the service man. Yes, he will be in today. No, we cannot fix it. No, we do not know how long it will take. No, we do not know what caused it. No, we do not know who broke it. Yes, we are keeping it. No, we do not know what you are going to do now.

    Thank You

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