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    A walking economy

    This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."

    The friend asks, "How so?"

    "My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"

    I'm at the wrong bank

    Letterman's Top Ten Signs You're Doing Business With The Wrong Bank

    10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other.

    9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your house begging for toast.

    8. Your monthly statements are handwritten, in crayon.

    4. All cash deposits go directly into teller's pants.

    3. Lobby is waist-deep in Mexican pesos.

    7. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks suddenly don't speak English.

    6. You notice Kato Kaelin is sleeping in the vault.

    5. Your safety deposit box is a Dunkin' Donuts carton wrapped in tin foil.

    2. Toll-free customer service line is: 1-800-GET-HOSED.

    1. Four words: Bank President Rosa Lopez

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