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    There are lawyers on the flight

    An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

    A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

    "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

    Flying without a parachute

    A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss chute is broken. He doesn't know anything about parachutes, but as the earth rapidly approaches, he realizes his options are limited; he takes off the parachute and tries to fix it himself on the way down. The wind is ripping past his face, he's dropping like a rock, and at 5000 feet, another man goes shooting up past him. In desperation, the man with the chute looks up and yells, "Hey do you know anything about parachutes?!"

    The guy flying up looks down and yells, "No, do you know anything about gas stoves?!"

    Next page

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