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Top Ten Inventions By Blonds
The waterproof towel
Solar-powered flash light
Submarine screen door
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart board
A dictionary index
Ejector seat in a helicopter
Powdered water
Pedal-powered wheelchair
Waterproof tea bags

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job. At the end of the first day, the redhead had painted three miles, the brunette had painted 2.5 miles and the blonde had painted 10 miles . The boss was so excited he told her to keep it up and the job was hers. The next day, the redhead painted five miles and the brunette 5.6
miles and the blonde four miles he told her not to worry you still have a good lead. So, on the third day the redhead had painted six miles, the brunette five miles and the blonde only one mile. The boss was so disappointed, he asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so well?" She said, "Well, that
bucket of paint keeps getting further and further away."

A blonde walked into a hairdresser's with a pair of headphones on and asked the hairdresser for a haircut - but "don't touch the headphones o.k.?" "Fine" said the hairdresser - a little taken aback - but happy for the work. Three weeks later, the same blonde returned and asked for another haircut but with the same condition, "Whatever you do ... don't touch the headphones." "No problem," said the hairdresser who went on to give her another good cut, considering the restraint. Three weeks later, the same thing happened "and don't
forget - don't touch the headphones," said the blonde. Well, just as the hairdresser was finished, she couldn't resist and she just lifted one side of the headphones up. The blonde promptly fell stone dead on the floor of the shop. "Oh my God - I think I've killed her," screamed the hairdresser. She picked up the headphones and put them on herself.
She heard the strangest thing... "breathe in...breathe out... breathe in...breathe out."

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? She fell out of the tree.
How did the blond break his leg raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
How do you get a one-armed blond out of a tree? Wave to him.
What do you call a blond in a tree with a brief case? Branch Manager.
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