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A blonde walks into a beauty salon to get a hair cut with headphones on. The hairdresser asks her to take them off for the haircut and she replies, "I can't, I'll die." She proceeds to cut her hair and it looks awful. Six weeks later the same blonde comes in for another haircut. The hairdresser pleads with her, "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair look beautiful." Once again the blonde replies, "I can't, I'll die". So she receives another awful haircut.
Six weeks later the blonde show up at the salon and once again the hairdresser says, "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair beautiful if you would just take off the headphones". And once again the blonde replies, "I can't, I'll die".
The hairstylist proceeds to cut her hair. While doing so the blonde falls asleep. The hairstylist quickly thinks to herself - I will remove the headphones and replace them before she wakes up, I'll make her hair beautiful. Seconds after doing this the blonde falls off the chair. The hairdresser checked her and she wasn't breathing.
Dying to know what was keeping her alive with the headphones on, The hairsytlist places them on her head. And she hears............
"Breathe in, breathe out - breathe in, breath out - ........"

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave." he replied.

Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
The vegetable garden.

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
That's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

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