A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?" "No problem," replies the young man, "just get that lion out of the way."
A blonde was driving back from the mall when there was a terrible hail storm. Huge hail stones the size of golf balls pelted her car leaving it full of dents. She drove to the body shop and asked what she should do. The body man explained what needed to be done and that it would cost at least $4,000 to repair. She said that was too much and asked if there was some other way to fix it.
The body man decided to have a little fun and said, "Well you could blow into the tail pipe real hard and they might pop back out." She decided to give it a try before spending that much money.
She drove home and was in the garage with her lips wrapped around the exhaust pipe when her blonde neighbor came over to visit.
"What are you doing?" she shrieked thinking the worst and thankful that she may have just prevented her friend from committing suicide.
"I'm blowing into the tail pipe real hard to pop all these dents out of my car," explained the first blonde.
"Well silly, it's not going to work," replied her neighbor.
"Why not?" asked the first blonde.
"Because you've got to roll up the windows first!"
Why do blondes always drink with straws?
Why did the blond keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?
In case he wanted black coffee.
Why shouldn't blondes be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
Why did the blond climb up to the roof of the bar?
He heard that the drinks were on the house.
This milkman sees a note on the door of one of his blonde customers.
The note asks for 100 quarts of milk. Thinking this a mistake, the
milkman rings her doorbell and asks about the 100 quarts. She says,
"Yes, I need 100 quarts. On the talk show I saw last night they said
milk baths are good for the skin." The milkman asks, "Do you want it
PASTURIZED?" She answers, "No...up to my shoulders will be sufficient!"